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STEREOTYPE DATING? Are WHITE MEN more controlling?
I grew up in a very mmixed area and went to culturally diverse highs chools and colleges and graduate schools. I have dated ( not slept with) many men. I find that ehite men are the most controlling and sexist., african men are the most domineering, latino men make me laugh the most and don't take too much seriously, black men are affectionate and like to tease and asian men make the bext dinner dates because they have something interesting to talk about. OK. Start killing me but aren't most stereotypes based in fact? I was married to a white man and then a black one so this does not affect loving someone or not.
First, stereotypes aren't based on facts. THAT'S WHY THEY'RE CALLED STEREOTYPES! Ugh.
Secondly, some of the comparissons you make have more to do with differences in culture and upbringing that what you put forth as "fact."
1. I seriously dated one white man, currently married to one. The guy I dated was the least controlling of any man I'd dated, and had issues that were universal to guys. While our racial differences weren't an issue while we dated, I guess he got so comfortable with me that he let a comment slip that pretty much ended it. My husband is a man I would have married if he'd been green, pink, Italian or Amazonian because he had the qualities I was looking for a good man.
2. African men have a very different perspective on women because women in their countries are not held in high regard (OK, like here only worse). I would say that from my own experience African men were the most controlling; I've always been financially independent, traveled independently and very capable. It seemed like the African men I dealt with personally or professionally were always trying to "tame" me. I find that unappealing in any man (or woman) of any race.
3. My experience with Latino men is somewhat similar to yours; I think they're very charming (at least the older ones). Of course they don't take too much seriously because relationships outside of marriage or committed relationships are the norm in many Latin countries. That's cool if you're into that, but it's not my style.
4. The majority of my dating experience has been with black men. My experience with them is that they run the gammut in terms of the qualites that most men possess (yeah, charm, control, sexist, etc.) but in varying degrees-- the commonality is history, and it's impact on how we live and how we see ourselves as black people.
There are qualities that are universal to men, regardless of race or culture. Some qualities are accented more heavily because of country, culture or religion. But to say that stereotypes are based on fact is a little like saying that all American men are the same. We all know that's not true.
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